The Art in my CSS journal is not mine and the artist/photographer is unknown to me

i could give a fuck less what people think of what is in this journal its just my feelings its my way of venting. to hell with all of you people who want to put me down because i appear different than you.

The world is truly a cruel place . war destroys lives and families leaving thousands with out hunger and what not.

People say that a single persons life isnt comparable to those of thousands. but in reality one persons life is just as vaulabe. if there is no sure way to save a thousand lives. and one definite possibility to save one life. i would take the one. as for those who had been lost i feel the guilt and i carry it.




I came to deviantART two years ago. under the account Salamand. some of you may gasp " oh mai thats hiM!" i dont care.
im not famous im not a bad person.

But through my two years i have watched chatrooms crumble and friends fight each other breaking relationships. none of it can be undone. and you know. it might happen to all of you one day. i let this place get to me. it hurt me deep inside. i let people in i should have never done that.

i hurt people as well. making a fool out of them brekaing their trust. what i would give to turn that all back now. but i cant and i accept that.

I have a passion for writing. its what i hope to do someday as a proffession. maybe one day you people will say : " oh hey i knew that guy over the computer. he was an asshole" or maybe say i was something else.

RIght now this is my ode of misery. my turning of a new leaf. People will probably still not trust me. many of my friends have not even answered notes i sent them or msgs. it just goes to show their not true friends.

this is also the last journal in my life of being Fenrir moving on to new things.

Im gonna finish school and devote my life to becoming the best person i can be. ill find the woman who is perfect for me and who will stand beside me no matter what.

some times a person can try to do something anf fails o horribly he wants to die.
i hurt someone who had been close to my heart and i was close to killing myself. i was right on the edge of walking out into traffic on the highway. but . . something inside told me that there were more people out there maybe theyw ould be forgiving and help me chang my ways once and for all. ill be wandering around dA as someone else of course. i have yet to watch dA fall to the ground in a roaring tumble of rubble.

But ill show so many people, that i am no fool. that i am something to be respected. and maybe when they do give me a chance. ill repay them back kindly for all the times they did something for me. and i hurt them. i think its overdue that i stopped hurting people and gave back to them what they so richly deserve. respect and kindness.
love and adoration.

i guess im running out of room here lol. i took up enough of your time. but . . this is just something i needed to vent. maybe those of you who will read it will understand. . maybe those who do wont. its up to you and how your going to let your heart soak this up. i want all of my friends to believe me even despite the trust i have broken with many of them. it would be important for them because it would give them the deepest insight into my personality. im not always the obnoxious brat i make out ot be at times.
i try to be decent and supportive. i just come out the wrong way. i have no real social skills. but . . enough of my blabbering you probably want to get on with your day after reeading this. hope to see you soon. =Azurashei-